WWE RAW Results: 8/20/07

Rumors have been floating around that Vinnie Mac's kid could be Coach, Eugene, or even Stone Cold Steve Austin. I can't confirm any of these, so let's just see where things go tonight.

RAW goes live and Randy Orton has just entered the ring. J.R. and Taz are doing commentary, with Jerry Lawler being incapacitated due to the "beating" last week. Orton gets a stick, and starts in on the crowd. He's getting quite a number of boos compared to his usual reaction against John Cena. Orton plays back footage from Saturday Night Main Event, where he set up a chair, then RKOed Cena through it. We see it again, and again, and again, and Orton claims that it'll become more famous than Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant. Orton mumbles something about Cena not being here tonight, which means we're almost guaranteed to see him. Orton tells him he's got a chance to come out and forfeit the championship, and instead, Vince McMahon comes out...of course, doing the McMahon walk.

McMahon comes out, saying that he's more worried about his illegitimate kid. He says that he's been told his kid is a male, and states that he'd be proud to call Orton his son...but he knows Randy's dad too well. He hopes that his son isn't like Shane and Steph, who apparently only love money. Vince goes as far as to say he hopes his son isn't like Cena, and guess who shows up?

Cena marches out, and Orton exits the ring. Cena stares down Vince, and Vince gets right on the stick...but Cena interrupts him, simply stating that the people don't like him. Cena states that he'd be ashamed to call Vince his father. Tonight, he's bringing a message, and that is that he's not forfeiting. Wow, we didn't see that coming. Now, Vince says that if Cena doesn't make it to Summerslam, he's getting stripped of the WWE Championship. Then he calls Cena's mom a stripper, and Cena slaps Vinnie Mac. Vince rolls out of the ring, right into Orton's open arms, and Orton helps the boss to the entrance stage. Vince, in anger, books Cena in a match tonight against Snitsky. Cena looks a little scared, but the crowd just kind of shrugs. We're pretty sure Cena will overcome the odds...like always.

Back from commercial, and out first match of the night is a diva tag match...guh...
Melina & Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle & Mickie James
Before the snorefest begins, William Regal comes out. He, with the other GMs, booked a diva battle royal at Summerslam for a Women's Title shot. Wonderful.

The bell rings, and we start with Phoenix and Mickie. Mickie takes a forearm in the back, followed by a slingshot suplex off the ropes. Pin attempt for 1. Mickie slips out of a bodyslam, Phoenix tags Melina, and James tags Candice. Candice hits a weak clothesline and pins for 2. Suplex and 2 more. Candice runs over to Phoenix, clocks her, then uses a weird rollup to pin Melina for 3.
Candice Michelle & Mickie James def. Melina & Beth Phoenix
For some odd reason, Mickie James attacks Candice, and throws her out of the ring. Melina jumps Mickie from behind, tossing her out on top of Candice. And then, just to make it interesting, Phoenix chucks Melina over the top rope. Commercial time.

Regal talks on his cell phone, and Santino Marella comes busting into his locker room. Marella gabs about Maria, and Regal orders him to back off...And now we cut to Booker. Eww. He stands backstage, and starts in by saying that Triple H is in the arena tonight. He wants Triple H in the ring tonight, and he wants Trips to crown him...and Now we cut to McMahon and Coach in the parking lot. Coach suggests that Trips could be his son...gross. They bump into Val Venis, and he calls Vince "daddy". They just ignore it and keep walking. Now Daivari comes out of nowhere and calls Vince "Papa" before hugging him. Again, they keep walking...and now they bump into Ken Kennedy...who says nothing before they walk away. Vince keeps blabbing, and they cut him off to go to commercial.

Shelton Benjamin w/ Charlie Haas vs. Cody Rhodes
Apparently, Rhodes isn't Matt Sydal. I don't know if I believe that, but we'll know if we see another Sydal pop up soon.

The bell rings, and Shelton knees Rhodes in the face. Rhodes hip tosses Shelton, then misses a dropkick. Benjamin hits a back drop and pins for 1. He hits a few mounted punches, then gets him in a reverse chinlock. Cody fights up, but Benjamin forearms in the back a few times. Cody comes off the ropes and elbows Shelton in the jaw, then dropkicks Shelton a few times. He nails a bulldog, then pins for 2.

Rhodes pulls Shelton up, punches him a couple times, then misses a clothesline and takes a backbreaker. Shelton tries for a boston crab, and Cody rolls Shelton up in a reverse for the 3 count.
Cody Rhodes def. Shelton Benjamin
After the bell, Haas hits the ring, and hits Cody harder. Shelton and Haas double team the white off of Cody, and we cut to commercial.

When we come back, J.R. tells us RAW will be on Sci-Fi next week. Uh-oh, I think they made someone angry.

Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch vs. Paul London & Brian Kendrick
London and Kendrick hit the ring with high energy. Awesome. We start with Kendrick and Cade. Kendrick gets Cade in a hammerlock, which Cade reverses into a headlock. Kendrick whips Cade into the ropes, dropkicks, then delivers a few armdrags before tagging in London. London pins for 1, then gets thrown down and Cade tags Murdoch. Murdoch whips London to the ropes, but he springboards back with a dropkick, and a pin for 2. Murdoch sucker punches him, then tags Cade. Cade takes London into the corner, whips him across the ring, and follows in for an elbow, and a crossbody. Murdoch hits the ring, and so does Kendrick. The double dropkick Cade out of the ring, then do the same to Murdoch. They dive out of the ring onto both men, and as all four lay prone, Cryme Tyme run out and steal Murdochs hat. They sell it in the crowd for $2 as Kendrick gets Cade in a crucifix pin for the 3.
Brian Kendrick & Paul London def. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch

Backstage, Booker does the "We're going to commercial" walk...and then we do.

We're back to see Ron Simmons on a date with Maria. The waiter asks for his soup choice..."CLAM!" Entree? "LAMB!"...Etc. Now Santino shows up with Jillian, and invites himself to join them. Simmons looks put out, and we cut to Booker in the ring.

Sharmell, who defies reason by still having a job here, introduces Booker. Booker reminds us that Lawler never crowned him as king. We see the footage from last week of Booker slamming Lawler into the stairs, and now Booker is demanding that Triple H crowns him. He calls out Trips, and nothing happens...for a minute. Then Trips' music hits! The lights go down low, and someone that looks like Jason Sensation comes on down with a huge fake nose. Booker talks to him like he was Trips, and demands the crowning. The fake Trips crowns him, bows, and rises again. Booker dismisses him, and then steps over to the announce table. He wants to address "James Ross". He asks "Tazwell" to step aside, and asks J.R. about what he said last week. Ross admits to calling Booker nasty for the attacks on Lawler, and Booker gives him a chance to make peace. He demands Ross kiss his ring, and J.R. stands, takes off his glasses...and shakes his head.

Booker gives him a second chance, and Ross tells him no. Sharmell jumps him, pushes his mouth into the ring, and Booker tosses him back into his seat. Commercial time.

Back, and J.R. is displeased...Obviously. Taz assures him that if he knew things would get physical, he wouldn't have stepped aside...and we cut to the date again. Jillian does more fake singing. A waiter comes over, and reading from a script, asks Marella for his autograph, and points out he looks great with Maria. And suddenly, we're back in the arena.

Carlito's Cabana! Carlito announces his guest...as the Intercontinental Champion, Umaga. Maybe we'll get to hear him speak. Carlito starts by complimenting Umaga as best he can, and Umaga just kind of ignores him, examining the set. Carlito offers a challenge for the Intercontinental Title at Summerslam, and Ken Kennedy hits the ring. he's got a stick, and knows how to use it. Kennedy tries to talk Carlito down from his challenge, and reminds everyone that he has beaten Bobby Lashley, when Umaga could not. Kennedy thinks he can beat the Samoan Bulldozer, and he wants the shot. Just as he's doing the "KENNEEEEEEEDY!" routine, Umaga kicks him in the mouth, then destroys the Cabana set. Maybe we'll see the Jeritron 5000 again soon.

Umaga heads up the ramp, and William Regal comes out. He steps aside for the monster, and Umaga leaves. Regal turns to the ring, and books Carlito vs. Kennedy for the Intercontinental Championship #1 contendership. Commercial time.

IC Championship #1 Contender's Match: Carlito Vs. Ken Kennedy
Back from commercial, and Kennedy fights out of a wristlock. Carlito spears him, then punches him the head a few times. He tosses Kennedy through the ropes, but he lands on his feet and slides back in. He tackles Carly and beats him until he retreats through the ropes. Kennedy chases him, and he slides back into the ring. Kennedy comes back in, misses a clothesline, and chops Kennedy in the throat. He gets Kennedy in the corner, hits a shoulderblock, takes him down, and pins for 2.

Carlito gets Kennedy in a reverse chinlock, occasionally elbowing him in the head. Kennedy fights up, but not out. Carly whips him in the ropes, but gets reversed and back dropped. Pin for 2. Kennedy forces Carly into the corner where he brutalizes him before whipping across the ring. Carly bounces out and hits a clothesline. Kennedy rolls onto the apron, and Carly goes for a suplex into the ring...and hits it. Pin for 2.

They trade punches before Carlito slams Kennedy in front of the turnbuckle. He comes off the second rope with an elbow and misses. Kennedy pins for 2, and both men rise. Kennedy elbows Carly in the EYE, and pins for 2 more. He whips Carly into the ropes, and dodges a springboard elbow. Kennedy lifts Carlito, and whips him into the ring post HARD. Carlito falls out of the ring, and Kennedy follows him out, grinning. He sets Carly against the stairs, then punts his shoulder just like he did to Lashley. Kennedy slides back in and we go to commercial.

Back, and Kennedy has Carlito on the mat. He stomps away on the shoulder, then punches him in the head. Kennedy stands on Carlito's shoulder now, but Carlito gets away from it. He gets to his feet, but he's starting to stumble. Kennedy knocks him into the corner, but Carlito comes back with a massive clothesline. Kennedy gets back up, and now Carlito whips Kennedy into the ringpost! He dropkicks Kennedy down, and pins for a close 2. Carly hits a quick neckbreaker, pins for 2 more. He goes up top, but Kennedy gets up and trips him up. Kennedy climbs to the top, getting Carly in a DVD position, but Carly reverses into a superplex! They hit the mat hard, and both men try for a rollup. The ref counts the 3, but everyone's shoulders were down, and the ref calls it a draw.
DRAW
Regal comes down, and says they can both fight Umaga. A little sad, after such an awesome match...This was one of the stiffest fights I've seen in the WWE. Well, the show goes on...But not yet. Commercial time.

Crap, we have to see more of the date. Marella threatens Simmons, who knocks a waiter into him. Simmons looks happy as Marella complains. Main event time...unless McMahon wants to reveal his secret child first? Vinnie sits backstage with Melina, and tries hitting on Melina a bit. Snitsky comes by, stating that he's never known his family. He assures Vince that Cena will get hurt...then calls him "dad". And they give us more commercials.

Snitsky Vs. John Cena
Maybe this will turn out like Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk. They try to convince us that Snitsky is "undefeated", though I clearly remember Kane destroying him in a cage match. Well, onto the match.

Cena charges Snitsky, and Snitsky knees him in the chest. He bashes Cena's face into the turnbuckle, then misses a bodysplash. Cena hits a bulldog and pins for 2. As they rise, Cena punches Snitsky a few times, but Snitsky boots him in the head...right where he took the RKO. Cena stumbles, gets whipped into the ropes, and gets decapitated with a clothesline. Cena basically skids to the outside, and Snitsky goes out after him. He rolls Cena back in, and pins for 2. He bodyslams Cena, then just stares at him for a while.

Cena gets up, blocks a punch from Snitsky, then gets shoulderblocked to the mat. Snitsky gets Cena in a double-underhook, and Cena overpowers Snitsky. I don't buy it, and neither does the crowd. Snitsky punches Cena in the jaw and bounces him off the corner. Cena pulls himself up, dodges a big boot, then trips Snitsky. He goes to the top and legdrops Snitsky. He actually picks Snitsky up for the FU, but he struggles out...and Randy Orton comes out of nowhere and RKOs him. DQ.
John Cena def. Snitsky by DQ
After the bell, Orton RKOs Cena again for fun. He slides out and checks out the WWE Title. Orton tries to STAREDOWN~! with Cena, but Cena is too busy holding his skull. End.