WWE Raw Results: 12/17/07

We start tonight with a recap of last Monday night. Nothing real new here, and we roll credits.

For about three seconds, they shove the fact that Randy Orton is still WWE Champion in our faces, and move on to an overbimboish bimbo match.
Costume Tag Match: Melina, Jillian Hall, Layla & Victoria vs. Mickie James, Maria, Michelle McCool & Kelly
Okay, for some reason, they're all dressed up like Santa Claus. I'm not even willing to call this one.
Mickie James, Maria, Michelle McCool & Kelly def. Melina, Jillian Hall, Layla & Victoria
Brief brawl with all of them, and the winning team stands tall. The losers vacate as Vince McMahon enters, and as he grabs a mic, the winners leave as well.

McMahon complains about his celebration being ruined last week, like he couldn't have expected it, and how everyone seemed to take pleasure in his pain. He goes the sympathy route, and the crowd totally leaves him hanging. Enter JEFF HARDY! Hardy, the #1 Contender after defeating Triple H, enters the ring and stares down the boss before stealing the stick. Hardy brings up the WWE trip to Iraq, and points out that all the people celebrated when Saddam Hussein was taken down. Hardy points out that McMahon is nearly the same, and the boss almost looks teary-eyed. He collapses as we go to commercial, and when we come back, he's still down. Jeff Hardy is gone, and William Regal is trying to get Vince to walk again. Cue Triple H.

Trips grabs the stick, and when the music dies, he waves Regal away. Triple H tries to get McMahon's attention, but Vinnie Mac just won't snap out of it. Triple H sits next to him, puts his arm around the boss and semi-apologizes for last week. No reaction from the boss, and now William Regal comes back. He tells Triple H to leave, or he'll have security throw him out. Trips gets in his face, but steps back. Regal tends to McMahon again, and Vince actually starts to climb to his feet. He grabs the stick from HHH's hand, mumbles incoherently, then whispers for Regal to get Coach, a.k.a. Jonathan Coachman. Then for whatever reason, he tells Regal to book Regal and Coach vs. Triple H. In his best evil voice, he tells us he hopes something bad happens tonight. Commercial break again.

Handicap Match: Triple H vs. Jonathan Coachman & William Regal
At the bell, both men try to corner Trips. He drops Coach right off, then trades blows with Regal for a few seconds. Regal falls to him, and Trips bounces him off the ropes before giving him the good ol' knee to the face. Regal rolls to the outside, and Trips follows him. He pounds Regals head off of the announce table, but Coach jumps him from behind. He beats on Coach, and Regal charges, bouncing Triple H's head off of the steel steps, then the ring post. They roll him back in the ring, and Coach pins for 2. They both pummel Trips, and he begins to fight back with both fists. Spinebuster to Regal, who rolls out once again. Trips traps Coach in the corner as Regal slides on some brass knuckles. He rushes into the ring, and into another spinebuster, dropping the knucks. Coach slides them on, and looks up to see Triple H staring down at him. HHH takes them from Coach, and Coach starts to beg off. Trips taps him on the head with them before giving him a Pedigree. 3 count, and it's over.
Triple H def. Jonathan Coachman & William Regal
Regal and Trips STAREDOWN~! New feud maybe?

We see the recap of the Chris Jericho/Randy Orton match, and Jericho having Orton on the edge of tapping before John Bradshaw Layfield punted him in the head, ending the match in a disqualification. J.R. tells us that Jericho "invited" JBL to RAW to explain his actions, and it leaves me wondering what happened to the rematch clause. Commercials again.

World Tag Team Championship Match: Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
Here's the clause in action. We start with Rhodes and Cade, and Cade dives on the rookie. Cade pummels Rhodes into the corner, tags Murdoch, and Rhodes escapes to tag Holly. Holly drops Murdoch with a hard clothesline, follows with knife-edged chops, and sets him up for the Alabamaslam. The ref chooses to look at Rhodes for some reason, and Cade and Murdoch doubleteam Holly. Cade chooses to be legal now, and covers for 2. Brief pummeling, and another tag. Murdoch drops the leg, covers for 2 more, then bounces off the ropes into a dropkick. Tags to both men, and Rhodes takes down Cade, shoulderblocks Murdoch on the apron, then bulldogs Cade. Cover, and Murdoch breaks it up. Holly and Murdoch spill to the outside, and Rhodes goes for a DDT. Reversal from Cade into a lariat! Rhodes ducks the lariat, and reverses into a DDT! 3 count!
Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly def. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch to retain the World Tag Team Championships
Holly gives Rhodes a brief one-armed hug, and we're back to the ads.

Win or Retire Match: Ric Flair vs. Umaga
Flair gets a stick and reminds us that he will NEVER retire. He's been wrestling 35 years, and walking away is not an option. I'm starting to fear that this is his retirement speech. He's abstractly telling us that he's glad everyone is supporting him, and he's got a lot at stake against Umaga. He'll give it his best shot, and he wants whoever is going to retire him to give it their best shot.

The bell rings, and Flair circles Umaga. Umaga shoves him into the ropes, then charges in and misses. Flair tries the chops, but quickly moves on to punches. Umaga kicks him in the gut, bounces him off the corner, then hits a bonsai splash. He lifts Flair into a couple of headbutts, dropping him to his knees, then kicks him in the back of the head. Body splash, and a cover for 2. Umaga resorts to the Nervehold, and Flair fights to his feet, only to fall again. Umaga releases the hold, shoulderblocks Flair, then eats an elbow. Umaga takes a few steps back, then clotheslines Flairs head off. Umaga misses the bodysplash, takes a few Flair chops, and as Flair bounces off the ropes, Samoan Drops him. Cover, but Flair gets the ropes. Belly-to-belly suplex, and another 2 count. Bonzai drop, followed by another, and back to the Nervehold. He gets frusterated, sets Flair into the corner, and pummels him stupid before dropping him flat in the center of the ring. Umaga goes to the second rope, dives with a headbutt...and actually hits it! No, not tonight. Flair dodges the headbutt, and both men climb to their feet. Flair hits the chops, and starts the chopblocks to the back of Umaga's knee. Umaga falls, and Flair goes for the Figure Four Leglock, but Umaga punts him straight out of the ring. He chases after the veteran, and bounces his head off the ringpost so hard it echoed. Flair collapses against the barricade, and Umaga stands back at least fifteen feet before charging full speed! Flair dodges and Umaga goes THROUGH THE BARRICADE! Flair rolls into the ring just as the ref counts Umaga out.
Ric Flair def. Umaga by count-out
Flair grabs a stick just long enough to "Wooo!", and we see Jericho, with a black eye, doing the pre-commercial walk.

After said commercials, they remind us yet again that JBL ended Jericho's title match, and Jericho enters! On the stick, Y2J tells us what we already know, and has the footage play back. He lets us know that JBL refused to show up, and at that moment, Layfield shows up on the big screen, via satellite. JBL tells he did what he did because Y2J fell on him when Orton through him over the Smackdown announce table. Jericho tells JBL flatout that if he won't show up on RAW, Jericho is going to Smackdown. JBL tells Jericho that he came to an agreement with Vince McMahon, and if Jericho messes with him, he's never getting another championship title shot again.

Jericho is speechless for a moment, but comes back attacking his career changes. He challenges if JBL still has the fight in him that he used to, and JBL bites. He's coming to RAW, and he's going to prove to Y2J that he is still a "wrestling god". Back to commercial land.

Santino Marella w/ Maria & Carlito vs. Paul London & Brian Kendrick
I've missed Kendrick and London! Good to see them again. We start with Kendrick, and Carlito and Marella both exiting the ring, then both entering again. They decide on Marella, and Santino can't catch Kendrick. Kendrick finally slaps him before getting him in a hammerlock, then tagging London. Another hammerlock, followed by a double knee drop. Santino struggles up, gouges London's eyes, but London dropkicks Santino nearly out of his boots. Tag to Carlito, who catches London and pummels him onto his back. He bounces off the ropes, straight into a hurricanrana. Monkey flip/crossbody doubleteam as London tags Kendrick, and Santino takes London to the outside. He pushes Maria at him, and Kendrick glances to the outside just long enough for Carlito to sneak up with the Backstabber. 3 count.
Carlito & Santino Marella def. Brian Kendrick & Paul London
Marella proposes a long term team with Carlito, insulting him accidently through the language barrier. Carlito eventually agrees, and we move on.

Tood Grisham is in the back with Randy Orton, the champ. He maintains that he defeated Jericho, and moves on to Jeff Hardy. He says even if he beat Triple H, he can't beat Orton. And becoming #1 Contender was the worst thing that could have happened to him. And we're suddenly with Ric Flair and Triple H. They're having a good time until Vince McMahon comes in. He mumbles something about New Year's Eve, and Ric Flair is going to fight Triple H. Advertising time.

Jeff Hardy & Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Kennedy & Randy Orton
Wow, a lot of tag matches tonight. For this last one, we start with Orton and Hardy! Lock-up, and Orton gets bounced off the ropes. Shoulderblock, but Hardy gives him a hip toss. Arm drag, and Orton tags in Kennedy. Another lock up, but Kennedy breaks it with a knee to the gut. He traps Hardy in the corner before bouncing him off the ropes and taking a shoulderblock himself. Somersault legdrop from Hardy, then a basement dropkick, and Hardy tosses Kennedy into the corner. Hardy comes back with a crossbody, and Orton charges in. Michaels cuts him off, and they throw Kennedy/Orton out. Synchronized springboard crossbody blocks from Michaels and Hardy, and we go back to commercial.

Upon returning, Michaels tags in Hardy, who throws Kennedy into the corner, gets reversed, but tries the Whisper in the Wind! He misses by a longshot, and Kennedy tags Orton. Ortons mounts him and pummels the top of Hardy's head before stomping at the limps, as he's fond of doing. Knee drop to the forehead, and Orton tags Kennedy. Kennedy knocks Hardy around the ring, but Hardy comes back with the wrap-around lariat, and tags in Michaels. Atomic drop, and Michaels pulls Orton into the ring! He levels Orton, kips up to prepare for the Sweet Chin Music, and Kennedy takes his head off with a clothesline. Tag to Orton, who nearly gets DQ'ed after a series of punches. Orton gets in a vicious sleeperhold, and Michaels starts to waver. He struggles up and traps Orton in the corner, and the hold is released, but Orton FIRES him into the opposite corner. Ugly bounce, and a cover for 2. More stomps at the head, and Orton tags in Kennedy. Michaels greets him with a few elbows, but Kennedy pins him in the corner and BOOTS his head off. Cover from Kennedy, and Hardy breaks it up. Kennedy tries the Camel Clutch, and HBK shows signs of still being alive. He starts to reach for Hardy, hits a jawbreaker, and chops at Kennedy. He quickly goes for the Sweet Chin Music, but it's caught. He hits an enziguri, and both men get tags! Hardy ducks a clothesline from Orton and knocks Kennedy out of the ring. He turns around and knocks Orton's block off, hits a suplex-facebuster, but Kennedy breaks up a pin attempt! Michaels takes Kennedy out of the ring, and Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate! Orton reverses into the RKO, but Hardy reverses into the Twist of Fate again! He hits it! Swanton Bomb, and Hardy pins the champion! 3 count!
Jeff Hardy & Shawn Michaels def. Randy Orton & Ken Kennedy
HBK encourages Hardy, even clapping for him before they raise their hands together in victory.